Road Trip Recap - I have a feeling we aren't in Kansas anymore, THANK GOD

I have officially been a San Diego resident for two weeks after driving from one end of the US to the other in just under 5 days. There were points were I feared my little Nissan Sentra would get swept away in the desert winds but nothing topped Prarie Dog Town.

Picture this...You are in the middle of Kansas where the only civilized person in site is an overweight farmer in overalls. Going 100 mph down the long straight road, signs enticing you to see "Live Rattlesnakes" and the "World's Only Six-Legged Cow" wiz by. How do you turn up the chance to visit a freak show farm after spending the last 12 hours driving through your worst nightmare? You don't...

I have seen the Hostel and Texas Chainsaw Massacre Movies but nothing compares to the creepiness that ensues at Prarie Dog Town. Upon Entering the "farm" an old gentleman greeted us while pointing to his collection of taxidermy two-headed cows on the wall that he delivered himself. After going out back and witnessing the random assortment of foxes, pigeons, buffalo and prairie dogs scurrying about, we saw the infamous two-headed cow. Imagine what it would feel like to poop out two of your own legs and that's what this cow looked like. After this spectacle, it was time to get the hell out of Kansas. As we opened the door back into the "gift shop" where our taxidermy creeper sat, I imagined a roaring chainsaw waiting for us on the other end. Luckily, we escaped without having our limbs being fed to the mutant animals.

All in all, the road trip was a success but if I have one word of advice it's this...do not ever under any circumstance go to Kansas.

California Dreaming

It seems every time I update this thing, I am moving. This rare post is no different as I officially signed a lease in San Diego. Fed up with street parking during a snow emergency and a June where 3 out of the 30 days it rained, I am packing my Nissan Sentra and hauling ass to SoCal.



Winter boots and knee-length puff coat stored in my parent's closet - check

Bathing Suits (when I'm beach body ready) and beach cruiser - check



I promise to be a better blogger and keep you up to speed on my California shenanigans. First on the list, 6-day cross country road trip with Jenna where we will take in the wonderful sites and sounds of Columbus, Ohio and if we are lucky the entire state of Kansas. Expect chronicles of this spectacle along the way assuming Jenna doesn't a) get motion sickness or b) we end up in a ditch.



Any suggestions on road trip landmarks and iPod mixes are welcome. Does the giant ball of twine really exist? Yes and it's in Cawker, Kansas (Yes!) How do we get to WallyWorld?



Here is a pretty cool Web site detailing road trip adventures...http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/8543



Liftoff in one week!

To Online Date or Not Online Date, That is The Question

It is clear when a new year is upon us when our televisions are inundated with weight loss and online dating ads. Chemistry.com wins for the most nauseating ads. Are we really all that suprised when the girlfriend vows to never wear a nightgown and the boyfriend chimes in that she should not wear anything at all? So sweet and romantic right? I prefer to think of it as just another proofpoint that boys can only think with one thing yet are initial reaction is to coo and say "aww" when we experience love secondhand.

Not me, I will not be persuaded by the guy who likes to eat Cheeseburgers on Match.com only to become one the fake numbers the PR people drum up to make it seem like a lot of normal, non serial-killer type people really do find true love via a desktop computer (or excuse me iPhone for the technologically savy type). I don't mind being part of a statistic but in this day and age it's much more important to be "one less."

I'm happy for those select few that find love online. That is a major achievement in my book considering the horror stories I have heard from the less fortunate. I thank Jezebel.com for a blog post last year chronicling just how uncomfortable meeting your online lover face-to face can be. If you are feeling sad and alone read this and you will be thankful that you are a single.
http://jezebel.com/352444/online-dating-will-break-the-bank-and-maybe-your-belief-in-love

I'm 23 and some might say I lack the love gene. That's not to say that I don't want to love, I just don't seem to have much luck in finding it. I will admit that I did contemplate joining an online dating site. I was persuaded by two friends who were each enjoying their new found joy of casual dating. Then, I came to my senses. Would I rather go on a handful of agonizing dates or just hold out for Jim from the Office? I soon came to realize that holding out for Jim from the Office was a safer bet then getting stuck with the check or listening to my date tell me the last girl he dated may have been a blood relative. Sure it's nice to have a free meal (when the select few actually do pay for your meal) but it's the new year and I'm counting my calories.

Everyone always says that 23 is so young and why would you want to settle down? To be frank, I am not looking to settle down but when your other 23-year-old friends are paying over $20 a month to makeout with a stranger, you can't help but think you're missing out on something. We are supposed to be "so" young but the more weddings I get invited to, the more I question my strategy.

Why is everyone so fearful of being along and so obsessed with having a "better half?" I understand if your biological clock is ticking and if you don't find some sperm soon you may no longer be considered a woman that you might resort to the Internet. However, before computers were invented and pedophile's figured out how to create a screen name, people still found love. Why must we create this online persona in order to attract those of the opposite sex? What ever happened to getting drunk and taking a stranger home for mindless sex and questioning why he hasn't called???

Fine in '09

It's hard to believe that another year is over....I take that back, thank god 2008 has come and gone. You know it's going to be a good year when you start it off with a Lifetime Movie marathon and a PuPu platter. So it feels like an artic tundra in my bedroom due to a lack of functioning storm windows. The fight that broke out at our apartment at 2:00 a.m.? Just kids being kids.

I could make my predictions for what I hope 2009 will bring but why spoil all the fun? Something tells me it won't end up like any of the 5 movies I've suffered through on Lifetime's "Ring in the Romance" marathon. But it is a new year and nothing says starting over like a resolution list. So here is my attempt...find me on December 31, 2009 to see if I came close to sticking to any of these.

1. Update this blog more than 3 times a year...the goal is at least 4
2. Lose weight...because being cliche is entertaining
3. Drink till I'm buzzed not blacked out...acceptions to this include, birthdays, vacations, holidays and any day ending in y.
4. Perfect the worlds greatest Pandora playlist...I'm getting close with SWV.
5. Discover if this so called "Secret" really does work...if I'm married to Jim from the "Office" then you know it does.
6. Cook...or at the very least find a man that cooks.
7. Add to my repertoire of dance moves...although can anything really beat the grocery cart?
8. Get promoted...however, I am convincved that this is solely dependent on the economy and not my work ethic.
9. I'm too hungover and into "Flirting with Forty" to add a number 10.

Happy New Year or as my wise roomate says...fine in '09.